Opening Shot

Here is the truth of my TTC story, that started waaaaay before I was TTC.

This first part is mostly transferred from evil_ovary over at livejournal, which was set up for my friends to follow that particular health journey. I haven't updated over there in 50 weeks, because I had put things mostly on hold.

Let's start at the beginning. (Aside, as a super background note, my grandmother took DES when she was pregnant with my mother, who had problems getting me). I've had irregular periods since I started having periods, which was around 14. For about 2 years they were consistently every other month, like one ovary just hadn't kicked into gear yet or something. Then they become more regular, and then they just got regular in irregularity if that makes sense. Knowing what I know now, I just think I was having really long cycles. But I wasn't having sex and there seemed to be no real reason to keep track of it, so I just let it go. When I was in law school, I skipped almost 3 months and I was concerned, so I went to a family doctor back "home" where my parents were.

She did all the normal things one does, pap, blood work, etc. And found that my hormone levels were seriously out of whack, with elevated estrogen being the main concern. So she thought we should do some ultrasounds on my ovaries. She thought it was PCOD or poly cystic ovarian disorder. We've now done two different ultrasounds. The second, and more qualified, radiologist, said that instead of lots of cysts on the ovary (and thus PCOD) my right ovary is made up of one big cyst with some random ovarian tissue sticking out here and there. My left one is supposedly perfectly normal. And seriously, I saw the screen and there is just this black mass sitting there where my right ovary should be. Also it likes to hide up by my appendix and stuff and not go where it's supposed to go. This is why I dubbed it the "evil ovary." And it was messing up my hormones.

With these results in hand I went back to the original doctor. She still thought it might be PCOD, even though I didn't have elevated testosterone, which is a major symptom in like 80-90% of cases, to say nothing of my sonogram results that didn't show that. She now wanted to get a pelvic MRI, because the evil ovary is apparently photogenic and we like taking pictures of it. On an unrelated note, my mother had broken her wrist, so I was unexpectedly at home for awhile. I called the doctor to try to schedule my MRI there. That's when her assistant said she had just randomly decided she wanted me to get a blood test for a cancer antigen. It's the CA 125 II test or something like that I believe. It was negative. This doctor put me on something to kickstart my period, which led to having a normal period, and then the next month having a period that lasted for almost 20 days. It was hell.

I ended up getting a pelvic MRI that showed nothing. And having trouble with a bunch of doctors in Chicago. PAP smears were always beyond horror for me, because they hurt so bad it made my cry. One of my doctors in Chicago suggested that if I used tampons instead of pads, I wouldn't have such long periods when they finally showed up. Yes, that is great advice, because tampons have anything to do with my cycle. Thanks. I finally ended up going to an RE who was baffled because I wasn't trying to get pregnant - and I wasn't, I just wanted to know what was up with my body. He did another ultrasound, which was unclear, and he said I *might* have PCOS/D, but just lose weight and wait until you want to be pregnant. Helpful. He suggested I go on birth control to regulate my periods. I did that, and ended up going through 3 different versions of the pill to find one that I could live with.

I stopped pursuing anything at that point, but had my next PAP done at the Mayo Clinic. That's where my husband's (boyfriend at the time) family gets all their important work done (his dad broke his back and only trusts these doctors) and I wanted some straight answers. Although I had been getting PAPs since I was 21 and was at this point 25 I had never, ever been told that I was super narrow and needed a special speculum. So while this PAP was uncomfortable, it was not unbelievably painful. Progress! And I was on birth control, so the doctor couldn't tell me anything about ovulation, but said I had a beautiful uterus. Good times.

That PAP came back abnormal, so I had to go back in for a colposcopy. That ended up being fine as well, but I needed to come back for regular tests. My next PAP is due in February, and I will probably have to have it done closer to home.

After that PAP, I got married, changed jobs (professors are more stress-free than lawyers), AND moved cross country with my husband. We have finally settled in and been married for almost 9 months, but because of my previous history and potential issues. So now we want to TTC.

I went off BC in mid-December, and started temping/charting midway into this cycle. I am in the middle of TCOYF and have had up to 78 day cycles when I was keeping track BEFORE the BC, and people are supposed to have long cycles coming off of it....so who knows? I don't have a doctor yet in my new town, because my regular PAP isn't due until February and I really hate starting over with new doctors as far as this is concerned. Sex is still painful sometimes because of the narrowness issue. I also feel like my temperature has been super low at this point, but I'm just figuring out how to even chart what is going on, much less ask sophisticated questions about it.

All that being said (super long, right?) I want to chronicle this journey, partly for myself, and partly for anyone who feels like me to know that they are not alone.