Still nothing, and my temps still don't show ovulation. Tomorrow is my doctor's appointment so I will be sure to update then. My husband is staying home tomorrow so he can be "around." I think he's predicting some bad news or just something to be done.
I have had super bad experiences with doctors (like that one who said tampons would solve all my worldly problems) and I just want this guy to be nice. I do not want him to just say, "lose weight." I am not the thinnest person in the world, but dude, telling someone for whom it is more difficult to lose weight to just "do it" doesn't really help. I want actual help, empathy, and compassion. I just hope it isn't too much to ask for in this scenario.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Period Watch: Day 59
Well I wished I'd blogged about it, because for a second there, fertility friend wanted to give me crosshairs on day 51. If only my temperature could sustain a day at 97.20, you get crosshairs. What did I get? 97.05, and it's all been downhill from there.
At day 59 (really, unless a miracle occurs, 60+) I can accept that I will not ovulate this cycle. But can I at least, you know, GET a period? Is that too much to ask? For those of you wondering, I have an appointment to see my doctor for the first time next Friday. I almost don't mind waiting a year to get pregnant on my own, but if I'm not even ovulating, that just isn't possible no matter how many times we have sex. And my husband is so cute about it right now, asking "what's your temperature?" every morning and he's even done some internet research on it. He thinks my chart is wonky because my thermometer is off - but he has no explanation for 59 days with no period and no pregnancy. I told him that tomorrow I would take a pregnancy test just to prove it, even though I know that my chart, even wonky, sustains no ovulation and no possible way of being pregnant.
Now I just want to
A) get my period already! Most women have had two plus cycles by now!
B) see my doctor and get started on this slow train to hell - at least get a plan of action in place.
In conclusion: Argh.
At day 59 (really, unless a miracle occurs, 60+) I can accept that I will not ovulate this cycle. But can I at least, you know, GET a period? Is that too much to ask? For those of you wondering, I have an appointment to see my doctor for the first time next Friday. I almost don't mind waiting a year to get pregnant on my own, but if I'm not even ovulating, that just isn't possible no matter how many times we have sex. And my husband is so cute about it right now, asking "what's your temperature?" every morning and he's even done some internet research on it. He thinks my chart is wonky because my thermometer is off - but he has no explanation for 59 days with no period and no pregnancy. I told him that tomorrow I would take a pregnancy test just to prove it, even though I know that my chart, even wonky, sustains no ovulation and no possible way of being pregnant.
Now I just want to
A) get my period already! Most women have had two plus cycles by now!
B) see my doctor and get started on this slow train to hell - at least get a plan of action in place.
In conclusion: Argh.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Other Life Issues
My husband said something a few days ago about maybe postponing having kids - and I wanted to throttle him. We may have a long road ahead of us anyway in that department, and he wants to prolong the time until we start?
In fairness, it's not about having kids per se - he wants them and is ready to have them. The deal is, I have a great job for me right now in a crap location for him (he is working way below his pay grade here at some part-time nonsense). At some point (and some point soon) we will have to move to another location. We hope not to move until one of us has a good job in the new location to make it easier, but we don't know what will happen. We have enough for a down payment on a house in a new location, but not enough to pay for a new house and keep paying off my law school loans and pay for a baby without both of us working, and we don't know what will happen. My view is, it's never the "perfect time" to have a baby, and we're not in a terrible financial situation that should prohibit us from trying to have a child. I'm already 27 and have known issues, so let's work with that, and be cautious of the financial issues but not overwhelmed by them. Life is always uncertain. But then again, I went to 12 schools before high school because my dad was in the military. So I'm much cooler with geographical uncertainty than the next person.
Also, and I want to vent about this but be vague too, so you know, it might be hard to follow - there is a potential set of positions for me in my husband's desired location, but it is on a different time schedule than everything else. I'm struggling to start applying for those jobs, because then I have to admit to everyone here (or at least some people) that I am leaving, and that saddens me. I want to do it and be supportive of him, but if that falls through and we end up staying here (b/c he doesn't have a job in the new location) for a period of time, I don't want it hanging over my head. Blah.
In fairness, it's not about having kids per se - he wants them and is ready to have them. The deal is, I have a great job for me right now in a crap location for him (he is working way below his pay grade here at some part-time nonsense). At some point (and some point soon) we will have to move to another location. We hope not to move until one of us has a good job in the new location to make it easier, but we don't know what will happen. We have enough for a down payment on a house in a new location, but not enough to pay for a new house and keep paying off my law school loans and pay for a baby without both of us working, and we don't know what will happen. My view is, it's never the "perfect time" to have a baby, and we're not in a terrible financial situation that should prohibit us from trying to have a child. I'm already 27 and have known issues, so let's work with that, and be cautious of the financial issues but not overwhelmed by them. Life is always uncertain. But then again, I went to 12 schools before high school because my dad was in the military. So I'm much cooler with geographical uncertainty than the next person.
Also, and I want to vent about this but be vague too, so you know, it might be hard to follow - there is a potential set of positions for me in my husband's desired location, but it is on a different time schedule than everything else. I'm struggling to start applying for those jobs, because then I have to admit to everyone here (or at least some people) that I am leaving, and that saddens me. I want to do it and be supportive of him, but if that falls through and we end up staying here (b/c he doesn't have a job in the new location) for a period of time, I don't want it hanging over my head. Blah.
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