We're on rest! According to my nurse, this is the perfect time to get pregnant. Of course, this assumes that you ovulate or will ovulate after you've been kicking your ovaries in the behind for several months.
Unlike mine, which loooove to fake me out on the Clear Blue Monitor with HIGHS for days and days and days and then go, forget it, you are never getting a peak, we tricked you - low! It hasn't gone all the way back to low yet but it's here on Day 21 and so we are not hopeful.
It's putting me in a real bad place, this resting. There's no hope, and every friend I made at the clinic is pregnant and I just feel like I'm getting behind. It's hard not to say it will *never* happen because I feel like it never will. Part of me is just trying to prepare myself for that and part of me is just say wait, wait, wait - but I don't know for what.
It doesn't help that the first time we had sex after my pelvic rest (thanks cysts!) it hurt so bad that I was crying by the end of it. Which delayed our second start for like another 5 days. But with the monitor not peaking, what did we care? (About that part of it, we very much cared about the activity itself and things were much better for Round 2, thank God, otherwise I would never be having sex again end of story.)
I guess I just feel like resting is more like stalling and I'm not altogether happy about it.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
Resting
Well I went in for day 1 baselines and they found a cyst the size of godzilla had taken up residence around my right ovary. There were a few cysts, with a total of about 17 cubic centimeters of volume, but godzilla was about 4 cm wide just on her own. That means I'm out for this month in the hopes that these things will dissolve on their own. If they don't, then I have to do a month of birth control (irony) to make sure they go away.
Meanwhile for the next two weeks I'm supposed to be on pelvic rest. I do not feel that my husband appreciates this. We're on our own for this cycle, though we can still try (assuming I ovulate). The nurse said that after taking medication, people in my situation have a 6% better chance of conceiving, which in our case is a whole whopping 6%. Maybe this is exactly what my body needs, I don't know, but I find it disheartening to be put on hold. I had really strong, nice hopes for the last cycle and this just seems like an extended period of nothing that will potentially get me down.
Meanwhile for the next two weeks I'm supposed to be on pelvic rest. I do not feel that my husband appreciates this. We're on our own for this cycle, though we can still try (assuming I ovulate). The nurse said that after taking medication, people in my situation have a 6% better chance of conceiving, which in our case is a whole whopping 6%. Maybe this is exactly what my body needs, I don't know, but I find it disheartening to be put on hold. I had really strong, nice hopes for the last cycle and this just seems like an extended period of nothing that will potentially get me down.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Negative
Blood test was negative, a less than 5 negative so REALLY negative. I was expecting it since I started spotting last night and a lot more spotting today. I was really sad about it last night but I'm trying to buck up since my husband is having a hard time at work and thus monopolizing all of the pitifulness available to our household.
The nurse told us we could try this next cycle "if we wanted to" but she seemed kind of blah about it. She wants me to talk to the doctor and so scheduled an appoint for February 8th. Ugh, really? I don't exactly want to SKIP A CYCLE waiting for the doctor.
On the other hand, I'm sort of over the IUI thing. When we did it ourselves we got pregnant, but the IUIs, not so much. I think maybe the timing of the IUI is off for me? We can't do it before because he's saving it up, so we blow 36 hours from trigger to insemination and then we usually don't feel like it after that. So it's a one shot deal and I'm not sure it's working for us. I think I'll talk to the nurse at least about doing back to back IUIs or doing it old school this time around. Except for the drugs. We got to have the drugs.
The nurse told us we could try this next cycle "if we wanted to" but she seemed kind of blah about it. She wants me to talk to the doctor and so scheduled an appoint for February 8th. Ugh, really? I don't exactly want to SKIP A CYCLE waiting for the doctor.
On the other hand, I'm sort of over the IUI thing. When we did it ourselves we got pregnant, but the IUIs, not so much. I think maybe the timing of the IUI is off for me? We can't do it before because he's saving it up, so we blow 36 hours from trigger to insemination and then we usually don't feel like it after that. So it's a one shot deal and I'm not sure it's working for us. I think I'll talk to the nurse at least about doing back to back IUIs or doing it old school this time around. Except for the drugs. We got to have the drugs.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Down and Almost Out
No spotting, but still a no according to the FRER digital test. The blood test tomorrow will confirm this for sure.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Suspense
The last two cycles I have started spotting at day 11 or 12. It is now day 10 (post O obviously) and there is no spotting, and if there is no spotting still on Monday, which will be day 12, then I will use a home pregnancy test. Either way I have a blood test on Tuesday, but the suspense is KILLING ME SERIOUSLY. Or maybe that's all the inlaws. Hmmmm. This is just me, putting the world on notice.
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