tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23636930465056329142023-11-15T05:30:18.228-08:00Attacked by Evil OvariesUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger120125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2363693046505632914.post-44598058438763031042011-06-30T14:58:00.000-07:002011-06-30T14:58:46.102-07:00Two little BOYS!I was just speaking to a blog reader the other day (via e-mail) about how I don't update this blog, primarily because it feels weird to be posting on something called "evil ovaries" when my ovaries were finally good to me for a change. <br />
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We are having two little healthy baby BOYS and we couldn't be more excited. The ultrasound tech guessed two boys at the NT scan at 12 weeks and it was confirmed by another scan at 16 weeks (no question) and then the anatomy scan. It's unbelievable. We've taken to decorating the nursery with monkeys (because if DH is any indication, these little bits will certainly be two little monkeys) and it's almost all put together if you don't count the closet. I need to get some more blogging-fu and figure out how to upload pictures. We have names all picked out but are keeping them a secret until they are born - less commentary from the peanut gallery (really my MIL) that way. <br />
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Nothing too scary has happened to us since the SCH nightmare of first trimester. 2nd tri was overall pretty great but as we slide into 3rd I am having horrible heartburn/reflux (even on some OTC medication) and I am soooooo tired all the time. I can't bring myself to work on lesson plans for the fall even though I KNOW I will need them when the fall comes. <br />
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I think I need a new blog that leaves this journey behind, even though it's part of me.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2363693046505632914.post-18972155059142020882011-03-24T14:15:00.000-07:002011-03-24T14:15:20.551-07:00Clean Bill of HealthI cannot believe there are people still following this blog! I am such a bad blogger. I keep meaning to start a new blog now that I'm pregnant but it hasn't happened yet. Seriously - I have not posted since my 3rd beta? I am a crazy person. <br />
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So we got heartbeats for both scoops (we've been calling our babies "two scoops" like they are in an ice cream cone) around 6 weeks. Baby B had a smaller sac for a long time (just like the baby we lost last time) and so we've been praying extra hard for "Little Scoop." But now he's measuring right on track and looking good. So grateful! "Big Scoop" has always been our star. We just saw them last at 12w4d and the heartbeats were 154/158 and they were moving around and being so cute. I have babies in my belly, can you believe it?<br />
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The most difficult part of this pregnancy so far has been the SCH (subchorionic hematoma) which has been causing bleeding (always fun). About six and a half weeks I got some bright red bleeding and proceeded to flip the f out. Ultrasound the next day showed everyone was there and everyone was fine. More bleeding every 3 to 4 days but we never had a real problem. I was put on pelvic rest (forrreeeeevver) and we just kept looking at those babies. Normally my RE releases people at 10 weeks but I'm special so I got to stay until 11.5 weeks. Didn't get to go off the progesterone shots and suppositories until 12 weeks. Then when we went to the OB for our first scan, the SCH was just gone. Like it never existed. And as of tomorrow (knock on wood) I haven't had bleeding for two consecutive weeks. Yay! A clean bill of health for both my scoops and me is nothing short of amazing. I don't know how many times I've prayed to come back from the doctor with "everything is okay" and no "but" attached - but it finally has happened. <br />
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I don't get to go back to the OB until April 18th, which seems so far away when you're used to going in every week. I just can't imagine it yet, so I'm trying to focus on overcoming the tail end of the first trimester and seeing if I can eat again. My babies need it! <br />
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Also, my family is moving in May. We already have a rental house in the new location, but I'm nervous about packing up everything and moving in the middle of this pregnancy. We'll just have to hope for the best and get some really good movers who can also pack! I'll try to keep more updates flowing. Love you guys!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2363693046505632914.post-37737247455823326742011-01-28T12:18:00.000-08:002011-01-28T12:18:47.132-08:00Beta #3is 1000. Doubling time is 2.83 days so a little slower than last time but still well within the 2-3 day range (this is what I keep telling myself). Next week on Friday will be 6w0d and we go in for the first ultrasound. Just thinking about it makes me want to barf (hopefully a good thing). Every time that wand goes in I know I will just cringe in fear. I hope this is it, but my heart won't let me hope too much.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2363693046505632914.post-59601782718258269882011-01-24T12:14:00.000-08:002011-01-24T12:14:06.259-08:00Beta #2We wanted at least a 350, but we got a 376! This puts our doubling time at 2.41 days, so right on track. My estrogen is 457 and my progesterone is 259, for those who want to know that as well. We go back in on Friday for beta #3 and hopefully an ultrasound the week after that. I'm hoping and praying that this is my sticky baby(ies).Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2363693046505632914.post-46412271368477946622011-01-22T07:39:00.001-08:002011-01-22T07:39:30.234-08:00Beta #1159! That's three and half times more than it was at this point last time, so my husband and I are feeling infinitely better about the pregnancy this time around. Anxiously awaiting an update on Monday.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2363693046505632914.post-29478924863438092802011-01-20T10:57:00.000-08:002011-01-20T10:57:41.922-08:00IVF #2I can't believe that I essentially let the whole cycle pass without blogging! I have just been so scared this time that things won't work out the way we want them to work out. <br />
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I started off with the nurse wanting me to go through two backs of birth control pills and THEN starting a protocol. I told her no way, and we started the protocol on the second pack of pills (because the protocol STARTS with birth control pills). Everything was fine, but the IVF nurse messed up my calendar and when we got it fixed it had the wrong birthdate and there were many anxious calls back and forth. Then when I went in for my suppression check the office told me to go home. I started stims 12/26 and went in on Day 4 of stims - and THEN my office thought it was time for my suppression check. Luckily, nothing was wrecked and we proceded along. <br />
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Unfortunately in early January we had to go visit my inlaws about 7 hours away. Since our retreival was ultimately the 7th you can see how this was an issue. We had to coordinate with another clinic and make sure the clinics were cooperating and leave our trip two days early to make the appointment. We only got 6 eggs, and we were shocked because last time we got 8 and were expecting more with the new protocol. Of the 6, all were mature and all fertilized but 4 did really well and 2 were behind the curve. <br />
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We ended up transferring the two best blasts we had on day 5. Unfortunately, nothing made it to freeze. We were really bummed about that because IVF is such a hard process and there was no hope to do an FET instead. <br />
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Now we wait. Beta is tomorrow, 1/21. I started testing on Monday because I'm dumb and I have no self-control. Every digital I've taken (Monday and every morning since) has said, yes, I'm pregnant. But until I get the second beta number that proves this is not only going, but going well, I can't let myself get too excited about it. <br />
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Because we have two in there, we're calling them the "vanilla beans" or "two scoops" or even "Milly and Vanilla-y." I hope those little beans stick this time around, for real and for always.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2363693046505632914.post-14793878502166707502010-12-09T20:45:00.000-08:002010-12-09T20:45:08.976-08:00Starting OverI know I haven't blogged in an extremely long time, but I've been out of it, mentally and emotionally since the D&C. <br />
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We had the D&C on November 5th. My mom actually came to stay with us that weekend as my husband and I both got the flu at the same time. The worst part of the D&C was my throat hurt, it felt like I was swallowing broken glass, and I wasn't allowed even a sip of water for six and a half hours. It was agonizing. But at the same time, the physical pain helped keep my mind of the emotional pain. <br />
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That next weekend I was supposed to go on a work thing, but my uterus started seizing up and cramping so hard we almost had to go to the hospital. Luckily some pain meds got me through the week and a half of excruciating cramps and we didn't have to go back to the hospital to do D&C part II, the redux. <br />
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After that I went straight back on birth control to clear my system. I did it for a month, and now I'm on pack number 2. I had my IVF baselines (11 follicles on each side) and on Monday I'm having an HSG and an SIS to see if my uterus is back to its normal shape so we can proceed with another round of IVF. <br />
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All I can think is, here we go again ...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2363693046505632914.post-57027638746439144832010-11-03T12:27:00.000-07:002010-11-03T12:27:46.995-07:00It's over again.We went in today for an ultrasound and bloodwork. We are 9w6d. I have no idea how big the baby was, although the sac looked a lot bigger. There was no heartbeat. We are going in for a D&C on Friday and taking a break on doctor's orders for 6-8 weeks before we try again, if we try again. <br />
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What I regret most is telling anyone we were pregnant. We made it so much farther this time. Next time I'll keep it simple and tell our parents with a phone call and no one else until I'm showing and it's impossible to hide. If we try again. If we ever get a real success. <br />
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More for me than anyone else, here were all my numbers: <br />
Beta #1 9/23 (44.9)<br />
Beta #2 9/27 (63.7)<br />
Beta #3 9/30 (102)<br />
Beta #4 10/4 (334!)<br />
Beta #5 10/7 (864!) <br />
Ultrasound 10/11 (6w4d) - Heartbeat! Baby measured 6w0d but sac only 5w0d.<br />
Ultrasound 10/18 (7w4d) - Heartbeat. Baby measured 6w4d and sac 5w4d.<br />
Ultrasound 10/21 (8w0d) - Heartbeat. Baby measured 7w0d and sac 6w0d.<br />
Ultrasound 10/27 (8w6d) - Heartbeat. Baby measured 8w2d and sac 6w5d.<br />
Ultrasound 11/3 (9w6d) - No heartbeat. D&C scheduled for 11/5.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2363693046505632914.post-34176518166094547972010-10-12T17:15:00.001-07:002010-10-12T17:16:01.215-07:00Heartbeat! But Small SacMonday we went in (we were 6w4d) and saw a heartbeat! The baby was measuring 6w0d, which the nurse said was fine - within a week is all right. The heartbeat was good and strong. However, the sac was only measuring 5w0d. <br />
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Of course we'll go in next Monday to see if the sac and baby are growing like they should, but right now I'm worried. The nurse said we shouldn't "get excited" but that we hit a milestone with the heartbeat. Honestly, I wasn't able to get excited about the heartbeat at all because she was being so negative. I feel like everytime we get good news it has a "but" attached to it that prevents me from doing anything but worry. Ugh.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2363693046505632914.post-80105076164594638172010-10-10T07:01:00.001-07:002010-10-10T07:01:40.117-07:00Out of beta hell?Beta #5 (3 days after Beta #4) was 864 which means the numbers doubled in 2.18 days. We are having an ultrasound on Monday because my beta should be above 1500 and we should be able to see something in there - maybe not a baby yet, but hopefully something. I can't wait to confirm it for real. :-) I hope this is my sticky baby and that we don't have any problems from the slow rising betas that are long-term.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2363693046505632914.post-12397272808718622912010-10-04T13:52:00.000-07:002010-10-04T13:52:02.871-07:00Beta HellI haven't been super good about posting here since I got lodged in beta hell. <br />
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Beta #1 was 44.9<br />
Beta #2 was 63.7...4 days later. Not looking good. <br />
Beta #3 was 102...3 days later, so rising, but not as fast as they wanted it. <br />
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I had to give myself a progesterone shot in the leg while my husband went out of town. I am never doing that again, let me tell you. <br />
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Then beta #4 (4 days after beta #3) was 334! According to beta calculator it took 2.33 days to double! My doctor says that betas under 100 tend to do wacky things but since my beta has gotten over the 100 hurdle it's been behaving appropriately (according to our test today). I talk to the doctor tomorrow, but things are at least looking up!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2363693046505632914.post-37011460851361518652010-09-23T11:16:00.000-07:002010-09-23T11:16:33.452-07:00No real confidence yet, but somethingMy beta was 44.9 and my estradiol was 176 and my progesterone was 127. The nurse said they were all good numbers. However, the beta still seems a bit low (the median for betabase on this far along is 101), so I can't be worry-free just yet. <br />
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Last time with the chemical pregnancy my beta on 15dpo was 29.9 and there was spotting going on. This time I have no spotting and a higher number on 14dpo. I hope that means good news, but I cannot be confident in it yet. :-(Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2363693046505632914.post-35308242541962214452010-09-22T05:20:00.001-07:002010-09-22T05:20:44.259-07:00I am not crazy!Digital confirmed with a "yes" this morning. I'm praying for my beta tomorrow and this baby/babies sticks around for a long and snuggly nine months.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2363693046505632914.post-52029192992806325772010-09-21T15:10:00.001-07:002010-09-21T15:11:09.101-07:00Am I Crazy?Or does the full size picture of my test stick addiction appear to be giving me a slightly darker, although still impossibly light, line over time? <br />
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http://i54.tinypic.com/24g2gx5.jpgUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2363693046505632914.post-45301876857073090212010-09-12T07:39:00.001-07:002010-09-12T07:46:10.204-07:00Embryo ReportAll 5 of my fertilized eggs are dividing. 3 are in the 1/2/3 category of being "better" and 2 are in the 4 category of being not so good. The embryologist wouldn't give me a specific count on how many were in each of the better categories because they are still actively dividing. Grow, babies, grow! I'll see you Tuesday. :-)<br />
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Also, PIO shots may not hurt at the time, but the morning after? OUCH!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2363693046505632914.post-67366922950831353352010-09-11T07:37:00.001-07:002010-09-11T07:37:40.437-07:005 Alive!Of the 8 eggs that we retrieved, 7 were mature. Of those 7, 5 were fertilized with ICSI. Now I'm on pins and needles until Sunday to see how they are doing. It's so weird knowing that my babies are growing, and it's not inside of me.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2363693046505632914.post-37357619463329941582010-09-09T11:37:00.000-07:002010-09-09T11:37:34.763-07:00Egg RetrievalToday we had our egg retrieval. Thankfully my husband was in town for this (although not for the trigger shot and I had to give that one to myself in my own thigh - ouch!) and everything went well. We retrieved 8 eggs, which is within the average of 5-12. Tomorrow we will know how many of those eggs were mature and on Sunday we will receive another report on their progress. The transfer is scheduled for Tuesday at noon.<br />
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Part of me is scared. Out of however many eggs you retrieve, only about 70% are mature. Of that number, only about 75% fertilize. And of THAT number, only about 40-50% make it to day 5. I think at best we'll still have two to transfer but I'm not holding out hope for any frosties.<br />
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Right now I'm doing my best to be zen and keep saying, as the ladies on the message board have been encouraging me to do, "eight is great"! :-)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2363693046505632914.post-26286483642586280842010-09-06T19:03:00.000-07:002010-09-06T19:03:51.197-07:00Monitoring BluesI had to get up at 5:00 this morning and drive almost two hours to have a thirty minute appointment at the RE and then turn around and drive almost two hours back. Blargh. <br />
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My follicles are coming along nicely, even one made it to 1.8 already, but I'm not ready to trigger. I have to go back in tomorrow morning to see. I am going to do everything in my power to push the trigger to Wednesday because of nasty class scheduling business - but of course will bend to the will of the doctor. <br />
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I teach on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Everything else is flexible. If I trigger on a Tuesday and have the retrieval on a Thursday, the transfer will be the next Tuesday and I'll miss two sets of classes. I would really, really prefer not to do this, especially as early as it is in the semester and with the realization that I might have to do the whole thing over again relatively soon. I know it's a bit bratty to complain about timing like this, but I am only in class two days a week! It shouldn't be that hard to work around. <br />
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The good news is since I won't be doing the retrieval on Wednesday that my husband will be in town for it, fresh sample and all. :-) He's really been super involved in this whole process, much more so than with IUI, so he's invested in being there at the retreival. For his sake more than anything I hope it works for us this time. I caught him crying at church during a children's service last week and it just about broke my heart in two. <br />
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Expect another update tomorrow on my progress! :-)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2363693046505632914.post-44497453570975893222010-08-30T07:52:00.000-07:002010-08-30T07:52:45.495-07:00StimulationI started stims last night. Doing stims as an intramuscular shot as opposed to a sub-q shot (in other words, in the butt instead of in the belly) is a bit of a trip. It's a super big shot and menopur makes it burn a little bit. I don't know how I'll make it through all these stim shots and THEN all the progesterone in oil shots. Yikes. Hopefully my husband doesn't leave town during this period. I could handle belly shots all by myself (even a bit of a pro at it after a while) but I'm not sure I could properly stab myself in the thigh. :-(<br />
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This part is exciting though! We're on our way to preparing little embryos!<br />
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Last Friday I had to see a high-risk obgyn who told me (surprise!) I'm insulin resistant as a result of PCOS. I've lost almost 13 pounds in the last 6 weeks by counting calories and exercising. Now I'm almost completely restricted from exercise - lifting nothing heavier than 20 pounds and doing nothing that will potentially twist my ovaries, and then comes the 2ww. I'm still going to count calories but I fear it will be a bit harder. I want to do everything possible to provide a hospitable environment for a baby - that means going back on the evil metformin and joining a different gym with a pool for water aerobics (with all the old ladies! :-)), then that's what I'll have to do.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2363693046505632914.post-38917652676025875952010-08-23T08:24:00.000-07:002010-08-23T08:24:09.091-07:00Lupron AttacksThe side effects that I hear most girls complain about with Lupron are headaches and being in a "fog." Neither of those things have really happened to me - and with how I'm prone to get headaches and even migranes, I am extremely grateful for this. What I'm getting is uncontrollably weepy and sleepy. I have to blame it on the drugs, because I'm getting plenty of rest and have no real reason to keep crying at especially sad commercials. :-)<br />
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Also, it's a teeny tiny amount of Lupron I'm getting. We got a ton of needles and this one vial of medicine that was only partially filled. We're using insulin needles to get just ten units a day at this point, and I hardly even recognize it as medicine (except for the shot part of course, ouch!). Next Friday we go in to the doctor and sign all the paperwork and pay all the money. After that we'll start stims. I'm so scared now that school has started. I can't really afford to skip any classes on Tuesday/Thursday, so I'm hoping to push around those days if at all possible.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2363693046505632914.post-88078853740421590442010-08-19T12:56:00.000-07:002010-08-19T12:56:51.735-07:00IVF!So worked it out with our doctor - I still have to see the high risk OB but it's not stopping our process now. I started Lupron last night and the target for egg retrival is currenty September 8th, but it will probably be a little later knowing how long it takes me to stim. Here we go on that roller coaster known as IVF!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2363693046505632914.post-71817546045621030292010-08-05T12:41:00.000-07:002010-08-05T12:41:20.537-07:00SchedulingI can't even schedule my "high-risk" appointment yet because they have to call me to schedule it - I can't call them. So even though I was finally given the number today, it doesn't matter, because they won't schedule it until they call me to do it. <br />
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ARGH. Seriously, why does the set-up have to be so hard? And why didn't we know about this when we had lots of time as opposed to right before school starts/school is starting when I am super, duper busy? Are we even going to start IVF this month? I don't know. <br />
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And of course, on my facebook, everyone in the world is having babies. Just great. Not that I begrudge them, but every update about "post this if you love your kids" just makes me want to scream and cry.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2363693046505632914.post-6080236080462064602010-08-04T13:08:00.000-07:002010-08-04T13:08:10.961-07:00Oh RESo we went in about a month ago to the RE to discuss IVF, but we were putting it on hold due to some funding issues. He was like, great, just stay on birth control continuously and give us a call when you are ready. <br />
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Fast forward to August. We're ready! I give them a call on Monday. I am told by a nurse to go off birth control, get baselines, then go back ON birth control, and THEN we can start. Ummm, no. What would be the purpose of baselines only to go back on birth control? She can't answer me. Only the IVF nurse has the answer. She won't be back until Wednesday. So just keep taking birth control and someone will call you Wednesday. WTF. <br />
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Finally this morning I get another call. My husband and I had talked about semen freezing in case he is out of town for a job interview or something. So we have to get some frozen BEFORE we can start anything according to the doctor. ALSO I have to have a meeting with a high-risk obgyn an hour away ... BEFORE we can start anything. Luckily, they say, it's easy to get in there. Why do I have to have this meeting? Because I have a high BMI. Now I've been doing my best to work on this, but if I had to have this meeting before starting IVF, could you not have told me a month ago? We could have had all this stuff taken care of at that point instead of waiting until now. It's just URGH GAH FRUSTRATING not to be able to just get started like we were promised. <br />
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So I called them back and said, can I have the numbers? Can I set this up? And they. still. haven't. called. me. back. It's almost like they just don't want our money.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2363693046505632914.post-14786571070879212942010-07-30T14:50:00.001-07:002010-07-30T14:50:15.527-07:004443 4-s just wasn't enough for the long shot miracle for which I was hoping. Sigh.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2363693046505632914.post-45809274501141157172010-07-02T09:06:00.000-07:002010-07-02T09:06:55.385-07:00Big GunsWell I guess there should be an update of some kind at this point. <br />
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We've decided to do IVF. It was a big decision for us and we approached our parents for money (we have the money to pay for it ourselves, but are worried about our liquidity should we want to buy a house in the near future, and all the parent money would be strictly loans) and geared up. <br />
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Then my husband started the pre-interview process for this job, and if he gets it, it will provide us a $24k benefit specifically for IVF. While that is awesome and amazing, it requires that we suffer through this process and wait to start IVF. I say pre-interview, because it depends on some other people at the company making decisions before he can officially start the interview process. <br />
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In the meantime, my doctor recommends that I prepare myself for IVF and *not* pursue IUI. He (we switched doctors in the practice to one my husband likes better) could see from the surgery photos that my tubes are convoluted, and with 4 failed IUIs and 3 rest cycles in between, he just wants to keep me on perpetual birth control until we're ready to start an IVF cycle. <br />
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If only I knew when that would be...<br />
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Meanwhile, I went off birth control to have a final period before the long haul because I believe in that cleansing of my body. The weird thing is that I got a bunch of old blood, but no new blood. This is my second period since the surgery and it still isn't quite right, and now I won't have another period for awhile. I can't really decide how I feel about this. <br />
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Also we went to look at puppies again (we did this and had the IVF consulting appointment the DAY after the EDD and my best friend in the world had a little girl early - she was due 7/4 and delivered 6/25 and named her daughter the name I want for my daughter - suffice it to say I was SUPER EMOTIONAL). The puppies were super cute, and my husband wants me to have one if he has to move for this job (because I teach, I'm on a 6 month to a year delay to move behind him) so that I won't be alone. <br />
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But he had trouble, and I could TELL he was having trouble. He says he'll get over it, but I'd rather not put him in that position, you know? And it makes it harder when I really want a puppy but I have to be the one to say no. It's worse than him saying no somehow, I can't explain it. <br />
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Anyway, I can't be Debbie Downer forever. We're starting IVF and we have big hopes for that and are planning on three tries. I just hope the process gets to start sooner rather than later.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3