Rest, but no Relaxation.

We're on rest! According to my nurse, this is the perfect time to get pregnant. Of course, this assumes that you ovulate or will ovulate after you've been kicking your ovaries in the behind for several months.

Unlike mine, which loooove to fake me out on the Clear Blue Monitor with HIGHS for days and days and days and then go, forget it, you are never getting a peak, we tricked you - low! It hasn't gone all the way back to low yet but it's here on Day 21 and so we are not hopeful.

It's putting me in a real bad place, this resting. There's no hope, and every friend I made at the clinic is pregnant and I just feel like I'm getting behind. It's hard not to say it will *never* happen because  I feel like it never will. Part of me is just trying to prepare myself for that and part of me is just say wait, wait, wait - but I don't know for what.

It doesn't help that the first time we had sex after my pelvic rest (thanks cysts!) it hurt so bad that I was crying by the end of it. Which delayed our second start for like another 5 days. But with the monitor not peaking, what did we care? (About that part of it, we very much cared about the activity itself and things were much better for Round 2, thank God, otherwise I would never be having sex again end of story.)

I guess I just feel like resting is more like stalling and I'm not altogether happy about it.