It's over again.

We went in today for an ultrasound and bloodwork. We are 9w6d. I have no idea how big the baby was, although the sac looked a lot bigger. There was no heartbeat. We are going in for a D&C on Friday and taking a break on doctor's orders for 6-8 weeks before we try again, if we try again.

What I regret most is telling anyone we were pregnant. We made it so much farther this time. Next time I'll keep it simple and tell our parents with a phone call and no one else until I'm showing and it's impossible to hide. If we try again. If we ever get a real success.

More for me than anyone else, here were all my numbers:
Beta #1 9/23 (44.9)
Beta #2 9/27 (63.7)
Beta #3 9/30 (102)
Beta #4 10/4 (334!)
Beta #5 10/7 (864!)
Ultrasound 10/11 (6w4d) - Heartbeat! Baby measured 6w0d but sac only 5w0d.
Ultrasound 10/18 (7w4d) - Heartbeat. Baby measured 6w4d and sac 5w4d.
Ultrasound 10/21 (8w0d) - Heartbeat. Baby measured 7w0d and sac 6w0d.
Ultrasound 10/27 (8w6d) - Heartbeat. Baby measured 8w2d and sac 6w5d.
Ultrasound 11/3 (9w6d) - No heartbeat. D&C scheduled for 11/5.

Heartbeat! But Small Sac

Monday we went in (we were 6w4d) and saw a heartbeat! The baby was measuring 6w0d, which the nurse said was fine - within a week is all right. The heartbeat was good and strong. However, the sac was only measuring 5w0d.

Of course we'll go in next Monday to see if the sac and baby are growing like they should, but right now I'm worried. The nurse said we shouldn't "get excited" but that we hit a milestone with the heartbeat. Honestly, I wasn't able to get excited about the heartbeat at all because she was being so negative. I feel like everytime we get good news it has a "but" attached to it that prevents me from doing anything but worry. Ugh.

Out of beta hell?

Beta #5 (3 days after Beta #4) was 864 which means the numbers doubled in 2.18 days. We are having an ultrasound on Monday because my beta should be above 1500 and we should be able to see something in there - maybe not a baby yet, but hopefully something. I can't wait to confirm it for real. :-) I hope this is my sticky baby and that we don't have any problems from the slow rising betas that are long-term.

Beta Hell

I haven't been super good about posting here since I got lodged in beta hell.

Beta #1 was 44.9
Beta #2 was 63.7...4 days later. Not looking good.
Beta #3 was 102...3 days later, so rising, but not as fast as they wanted it.

I had to give myself a progesterone shot in the leg while my husband went out of town. I am never doing that again, let me tell you.

Then beta #4 (4 days after beta #3) was 334! According to beta calculator it took 2.33 days to double! My doctor says that betas under 100 tend to do wacky things but since my beta has gotten over the 100 hurdle it's been behaving appropriately (according to our test today). I talk to the doctor tomorrow, but things are at least looking up!

No real confidence yet, but something

My beta was 44.9 and my estradiol was 176 and my progesterone was 127. The nurse said they were all good numbers. However, the beta still seems a bit low (the median for betabase on this far along is 101), so I can't be worry-free just yet.

Last time with the chemical pregnancy my beta on 15dpo was 29.9 and there was spotting going on. This time I have no spotting and a higher number on 14dpo. I hope that means good news, but I cannot be confident in it yet. :-(

I am not crazy!

Digital confirmed with a "yes" this morning. I'm praying for my beta tomorrow and this baby/babies sticks around for a long and snuggly nine months.

Am I Crazy?

Or does the full size picture of my test stick addiction appear to be giving me a slightly darker, although still impossibly light, line over time?

http://i54.tinypic.com/24g2gx5.jpg